Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
