waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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