Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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