Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize