she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
time to smoke my breakfast
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
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