Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize