Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
