Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
