Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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