I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize