watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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