I am in a vortex of obligation.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
