i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
