The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize