Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives