Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.