so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.