batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
