Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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