somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Moan for me like Helen Keller
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
