Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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