my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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