2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
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The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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