Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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