playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
