I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
