I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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