You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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