If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hippo gnu deer
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
