I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize