I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
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I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
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Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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