this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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