Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
