working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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