if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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