Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
