We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
