I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
