I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
