This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
