did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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