I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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