I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
