you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
