If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
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You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
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I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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