it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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