Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
