Porn is love you can see.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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