I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
