Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Please don't give away my fajitas
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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