my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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