awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
