We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
