I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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