mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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