She said her name was "party"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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