yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
