Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
