You're my little dorito
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
