I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
