Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
