I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Randomize
